And can change your reality
It all boils down to one simple truth: What we think and believe dictates what we experience. It’s crucial that we’re mindful of these thoughts, or else they become destructive forces that undermine our happiness and cause us misery.
I mean, it’s so easy for thoughts to run away. And if you keep feeding them, they never stop. One study showed people spent almost 47% of their waking hours mind-wandering. And this was about everything except what was happening at that exact moment. If you’re not conscious of your thoughts…what happens to your reality?
Thoughts have the power to manifest your reality because they send strong signals to the universe, and these signals create subtle changes that radiate out into our lives. It’s like sending a message in a bottle out into the ocean. You can’t see the changes occurring, but they’re happening at a molecular level.
When you send out positive thoughts, you bathe your subconscious mind with vibration and energy that can transform into your outer reality. It’s the process of how your thoughts become something tangible.
The Proof Is in the Pudding
All you need to prove this theory is to pay attention and a journal entry for the day, or if you’re feeling bold, one week. And most integral, be present.
To be the proverbial guinea pig, I did this exercise/experiment myself. I’m not new to manifestation or visualization, but here are some of what happened and my journal entry.
Every morning upon waking, I sit upright in bed and start with gratitude. I go through my day, and as soon as I put my feet on the ground, I declare: Today’s going to be a wonderful day.
These were my exact words to my children one morning: We need to hurry up, slowly, because it snowed last night, and there will be traffic on our way to school.
My journal entry
No surprise, there was traffic on the way to school. Not from the snow but from a car abandoned in one lane that caused a backup.
Note to self
My thoughts that morning created my reality. Now, if I hadn’t had that thought in the morning, even if there had been a broken-down car, I would have handled it differently.
Later that morning, I looked out the window. It had started to snow again, and I thought: I feel cold. It was only a thought, not a feeling because I was in the house with the heating on.
My journal entry
Regardless of the warmth inside, my thoughts said I was cold, and goosebumps erupted over my skin.
Note to self
Be more present. I was standing inside, not outside; observe, don’t absorb. Observe Don’t Absorb technique, created by psychologist Ross Rosenburg, helps empower and assist codependents and victims of narcissistic abuse. I think its use can be far-reaching.
Attention and focus on the cold with the memory of what cold weather feels like translated into thoughts and, ultimately, the experience. So I gave power to my thoughts by focusing my attention on them and using my memory to trigger the physical state of feeling cold.
If you observe and do not absorb, you watch but do not react. You kill the triggers and remain unaffected. There is no absorption in the brain, no information processed, and therefore no feeling.
Later I tried to see what would happen if I thought I was warm. And just like that, I immediately felt warm by imagining the sun’s rays on my skin. The goosebumps slowly disappeared. If embarrassment, anger, and blushing can get us hot and flustered without thinking about it, the power of thought can do much more.
Beliefs and Thoughts
There are many things I believe. Some might even make others roll their eyes. But it shows how strongly we hold on to them and how they govern our lives. Beliefs come from the outside, from everything we hear — from external inputs.
What we don’t realize is beliefs are a choice. We can choose to accept or reject them (and the same with thoughts). Because when we choose beliefs that don’t align with our true inner selves, these become someone else’s thoughts and reality, not ours.
One belief I never understood was putting an oxygen mask on yourself before a child. I would gladly save my child’s life by risking my own. It was a belief instilled in me as I grew up. Always put others’ needs first. Always be nice. Don’t say anything that will hurt someone. They were fundamental in my decision-making. But it never occurred to me, what about my needs and my feelings? Don’t they matter too?
I finally rejected that belief. Now I’m in charge of placing that oxygen mask over my face first, then others. There’s always a choice. The choice was always mine to make. And you can change your beliefs — they’re not permanent. You will see, in time, so will your thoughts and behaviour.
The point of this article is not to tell you to avoid these thoughts or give yourself a hard time when you have them, but to separate yourself from your thoughts. Notice when they come and why you have them — sometimes there is no reason. They just thought diarrhea from being stored away for so long. So what can you do about them?
Realize, Reason, Replace
My three-step process to deal with unwanted thoughts and beliefs:
- Realize what you are saying or believing. Notice, be aware, and be conscious. It takes a few things:
- Patience: Patience is a learned trait. Accept that sometimes your thoughts will get the better of you. Remind yourself to keep trying.
Patience is not simply the ability to wait — it’s how we behave while we’re waiting. — Joyce Meyer
- Practice: Mindfulness and meditation teach you how to recognize unwanted and intrusive thoughts.
One of the most freeing insights of meditation practice is realizing that the only power thoughts have, is the power we give them. — Joseph Goldstein
- Pause: Breathing, counting to ten, and taking a moment buy you time to recognize your thoughts and see them for what they are and nothing more. Accept them because the more you resist them, the stronger they become.
Sometimes you need to press pause to let everything sink in. — Sebastian Vettel
2. What is the reason behind your thoughts and beliefs? Ask the following questions:
- Are my thoughts true?
- Are my thoughts kind?
- Do beliefs have anything to do with my thoughts?
- Are my beliefs triggering these thoughts?
3. Replace it with something better. Or with silence — no thought.
- You can change your belief by changing your perspective
- Challenge your beliefs or thoughts
- Find a neutral space
Last Thoughts (Pun intended)
If you want to create a life that reflects your self-created identity, you need to start thinking about yourself in a new way. The key is understanding that everything begins with your thoughts and beliefs. You get to create them and learn how to control them.