How curiosity led me to do without doing

During my days as a digital marketer, I worked with a client who was a life coach. The content I had to craft for her was very positive, with rotating themes every month. She offered a variety of services, from workshops to one-on-one coaching to journaling to affirmations.

One word, in particular, she wanted me to use often was effortless — how you can create the life of your dreams effortlessly. A few of us at the time even laughed it off, thinking, was there really such a thing as achieving something effortlessly?

If you look at your life right now, do you feel like there is any weight to this or is it just a farce making people believe something unrealistic?

So what does “effortless” mean? It means showing or requiring little or no effort. No-brainer, right? If only it were that easy, we thought to ourselves. Here I was spewing out matter which I hardly understood. The more I wrote about it, the more curious I got.

It’s as Complicated & as Simple as Breathing

If you think about it, an example of something effortless is breathing.

• When you breathe normally, you are not conscious of it, so it is effortless.
• When you meditate, you are aware of your breathing, so it takes some effort to focus.
• When you are hyperventilating, your breathing is more rapid due to anxiety or stress. Learning to slow down your breathing can help control hyperventilating.

No matter how you breathe, you are doing. So with or without effort, you need action. Not any action. In Daoism (following Dao or The Way), a Chinese philosophy, there is a principle called Wu-Wei — meaning “non-action” or “actionless action”. All of which leads to natural transformation, correctness, prosperity and simplicity.

“The Way never acts yet nothing is left undone.”

— Dao De Jing

Perception Gets in the Way of Effortless Living

Consider this: There are two people living the same life. One views it as a hard life and the other as easy. Perception and how you act on these perceptions is the difference between effort and effortless.

I recently received an image on Whatsapp. It showed two prisoners in a jail cell. There is a small window-like opening in the wall covered with bars. Beyond the bars, it’s a beautiful day with the sun shining. One prisoner paints the bars because that is how he sees life. The other paints the scenery beyond the bars because that is how he views life.

Since I came across the concept of effortless living, I saw it everywhere — from life coaches to mentors. One such person is Rhonda Byrne, the woman who created the documentary and wrote a book of the same name, The Secret, based on the law of attraction.

“The difference between inspired action and action is this: Inspired action is when you are acting to receive. If you are in action to try and make it happen, you have slipped backward. Inspired action is effortless, and it feels wonderful because you are on the frequency of receiving.” — Rhonda Byrne

Instead of forcing it to happen, fighting for it to happen, let it be. Controlling everything is not the answer. Let go of the reins and let harmony, spontaneity and nature take the lead.

Master the Reality of Wu Wei

Deciding to go on this path will take some effort and time on your part. From experience, I will say that it gets harder before it gets easy. Generally, it’s because we come this far with many pre-conceived notions, with our past and with conditioning. So letting go of control and resistance are hurdles, but once you’ve jumped over these, the path becomes instinctive.

1. No expectations

Expectations in any area of your life can only disappoint. In parenting — I recently got asked: What is the hardest part of raising kids? I replied: Everything! Yes, raising kids is hard and takes much effort. But when you start letting go of expectations from them, it requires less effort on your part and theirs.

The same applies to relationships. People don’t owe you anything. We have to understand everyone is doing their best with the knowledge, understanding and consciousness they have. They might not be at the same level as you. Let go, and it will become effortless on your part. Or you could change your perception by changing your thoughts, not your behaviours.

2. Do what brings you joy

No one can stop you from doing that. Because when you love what you do, it’s not a grind anymore. So it becomes effortless. If or when you find yourself in a situation where you are not happy and don’t have a clue what to do, remember decisions are like doors. Richard Branson refers to these as two-way door decisions. Even if they seem definite, they are actually reversible.

3. Be flexible with your goals

Bruce Lee and the lesson of fluidity:

Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

4. Slow & steady wins the race

Effortless is not doing something without effort and expecting effortless results right away. It’s not ordering from Amazon Prime and expecting same-day delivery.

The pandemic has forced many to jump off the hamster wheel, take their foot off the gas pedal. Slow down and enjoy the journey to making effortless living a possibility. Share your mindset with those around you. Ask for help, support and be patient. The world will still keep rotating, and you will still keep achieving.

5. Change

I say this in many of my articles because I have lived it. You can’t avoid change. Learn to cope with it. Sometimes we have a direction in mind we want to follow. Yet, life has something else in store for us. You won’t believe it now, but resisting the change will take more effort than going in the direction of change.

6. Avoid distractions

Drop what isn’t significant and be fully present. Ego and fear are distractions. When we give in to struggle and negativity, we see everything as taking effort. Use discipline to focus on things that matter. Always look for opportunities to make your life effortless — practice gratitude.

The Takeaway

My curiosity for something I didn’t understand paid off. My life was far from effortless. Then I tried living contrary to how I had been and subsequently felt the ease. Start small, trust the process, let go and allow yourself to make mistakes, and before you know it, you’ll be living your best life — effortlessly.

“The Effortless Way isn’t the lazy way. It’s the smart way. It may even be the only way.” — Greg McKeown